I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Hippo gnu deer
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
