some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You were trust falling into bushes
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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