And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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