"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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