There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
