dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
