I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
last night I used snow as a chaser
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