well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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