Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
