How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
