Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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