the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
