The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
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