Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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