I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
