Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
