Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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