i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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