dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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