we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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