Sponge bath it is.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
