My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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