You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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