I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
