You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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