i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
