What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
