Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
