mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just gargled with NyQuil
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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