This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
