dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
