im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I have tasted many bathrooms
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
