hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
