first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
