K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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