Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
