I am spending my child support on dildos
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
