i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
