So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
