try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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