8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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