I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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