There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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