Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
