Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i think my cat just said my name.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
