Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
