My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
they're like a gay fantastic four
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
