Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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