My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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