you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
