I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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